The Advantages of Returning
by FadingIntoYou
Summary: When someone leaves you, it's your right to be angry. How you choose to express that anger is completely, and inappropriately up to you...Strong T Warning.


Hello readers, it's a lovely day for some Strong T (almost M if I actually had the ability to write legitimate smut) writing. I'm keeping it a T rating because there really isn't this huge graphic role in this story, more just that I had writers block and came up with something new. I hope this is something you enjoy because I had a good time writing it, but I now have to get back to updating Making Connections. Read and review, it's always welcome. Thanks to Samand Kala for reading this too, Kala helped giving me the title and Sam just said that it was too good not to publish and share with all of you :]

Also, if anyone would like to see a part 2 to this or a follow up, review with suggestions and I'd be more than happy to get that started.

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><p>Standing in front of her locker in the empty gym at the precinct in a sports bra and sweats rolled up to her knees, Carter sighed and slammed her locker shut. Taping up her hands, she rolled her neck around to loosen up the muscles as she flexed her hands a bit, stretching her arms as she stared into space. There was never anyone down here after 6 o'clock she knew, but at nearly 8:45 she finally found a sense of short-lived peace. It'd been a hard year for her, falling in love and getting her heart broken and shattered before her very eyes. The tears welled up in her eyes as she shook her head, forcing the tears back as she stalked out of the locker room, heading straight for the punching bag in the corner across from the double doors into the training areagym. She took a minute to stretch her legs and body well before starting, her anger at feeling helpless rolling off of her in waves. She remembered that Taylor had decided to spend the weekend downtown at his best friend Josh's house, so she let go the feeling of guilt at staying around late. There was nothing and no one waiting for her at home, and with that, she took her first swing at the bag.

Punch after punch, all you could hear in the quiet training room was her grunts and the sound of her fists colliding with the punching bag. She was light on her feet, jabbing constantly at the bag and moving swiftly on her toes. He watched from the shadows, aroused at the raw emotions she was using to fuel her energy from the slightly open door. He'd fucked up badly with Carter, and no amount of denial would ever make the phone call he had with Finch over a month ago subside. He remembered the conversation like it was yesterday, his anger at the situation ebbing away to all-consuming guilt.

"_Finch, I thought I'd made it clear-"_

"_Yes Mr. Reese, you were quite clear on the four months out of the country" he stated irritably as he continued on, ignoring Reese all together._

"_I just wanted to make sure that you we're aware that Detective Carter may be engaged in the near future"_

_All the air in Reese's lungs vanished as he processed what Finch had said. He knew that Carter was seeing a James Dalton, but he wasn't aware that they were getting that serious. He had been watching her as usual, and noticed that her son Taylor had already met the man. It angered him that this James was able to put his hands on Carter when he himself couldn't even be seen in public with her. He'd been on the verge of telling Carter last May that he had developed feelings for her when James had come along and swept her off her feet. He had decided to let her be, confident that she'd get bored of the architect soon enough. He'd been dead wrong, watching as they celebrated their six month anniversary in a small Italian restaurant, eventually abandoning it because it had hurt to hear her say that she loved him and he loved her in return. It turned his stomach to think about it, and the next day he actually pleaded with Finch for the time away. He had to find a way to get Carter out of his system, but all he could think about was the way he'd left his problems in New York and had to return to them eventually. He blew out a breath as he pulled himself together, talking to Finch calmly. _

"_Look Finch, I'm happy for Carter and all but-"_

"_Mr. Reese, she'll marry him if he asks her. She's unaware of the other player in her game"_

"_This isn't a game Harold" he all but growled, "I'm willing to let her be happy and conventional. I'd never take that away from her"_

"_I'm well aware of that, but what she wants will never be found in Mr. Dalton. She's spent many a night hoping you'd return" he all but whispered, and Reese's jaw dropped in anger and astonishment._

"_You kept her apartment bugged Finch? Why the hell couldn't you cut ties with her like I did?" he yelled, his breath coming in fast puffs._

"_It was for her own safety John. You know better than anyone else just how easy it is for trouble to find you"_

"_Finch, she doesn't want me, I've accepted that"_

"_Fine Mr. Reese, just know that her soon to be fiancé is cheating on her with a paralegal. Either way, she's going to have her heart broken, and it can either be by him, or continue being by you" he said, and disconnected the call as Reese just stared at his phone, Finch's last words echoing in his head._

He shook his head of the memory, remembering Finch's smug face a month ago when he returned from London. Finch had given him updates on Carter, and he flinched when he realized that she'd found Dalton in bed with his paralegal right before he'd come back, ending their relationship entirely. He watched her for a few weeks, getting reacquainted with her routine as he noticed the subtle changes in her. He saw more fire in her eyes when he'd witnessed her upset than she used to have, making his skin tingle with the desire to have an interrogation room alone with her for five minutes during those episodes. He'd also noticed that she had this charged air about her now, one that was intoxicating and sinfully hard to resist. He also was aware that she'd gotten a tattoo recently, what he was fairly sure was a phoenix that wrapped from the front of her left hip to her lower back. He'd seen it when her shirt had risen as she grabbed a package from front steps, his mind working a mile a minute as he burned the image into his brain.

He was watching as she twisted and turned; now kicking as well as punching the bag, her tattoo clearly visible as her skin slicked with sweat, her hair in its ponytail whipping around violently. He'd always loved watching her work, but watching the fire in her eyes as she fought something or someone had to be the sexiest thing he'd discovered about her. He wanted to make himself known, so he quietly slipped into the room, staying directly behind her as all of her focus stayed on the punching bag jerking around wildly. He leaned against the wall after he pulled off his t-shirt, revealing his thin undershirt that clung to his abs, the basketball shorts he had on slung low on his hips. He saw as her hands slowed, her ragged breathing making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end as he clapped slowly for her, watching the way she stiffened and slowly wheeled around to face him. Her face showed the shock at his arrival, before her eyes gave way to the quick appraisal of his body. He wanted to smirk at her reaction, but didn't have the time before she turned back to the bag, taking light jabs again. She ignored him for another five minutes, making him agitated as she now made a complete circle around the bag, allowing him to see her face as she landed punch after punch. She had always fascinated him, but being this turned on at being ignored was getting to him.

"Are you at least going to talk to me?" he said, knowing she heard him when her eyes flickered briefly in his direction, her anger apparent in her next sequence of moves.

"Fuck you John" she spat out, kicking the bag with a tremendous amount of force. He heard the anger there, but there was something else he couldn't place.

"Come on Carter, you mad at me? Then fucking duke it out with me" he said, leveling her with an angry challenging gaze as she stopped completely to stare at him furiously. She crossed her arms over her chest, her chest moving rapidly as she tried to take deep breaths.

"I want nothing to do with you" she stated stubbornly, but continued to lock furious glazes with him. He then folded his arms in front of him, making his way closer to her. She wanted to run from the room, but the look in his eyes made her hold her ground. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of making her walk away from him this time.

"That's a lie Carter. At least tell me why you're so angry, I at least deserve that" and with those words, he finally pissed her off enough to feel the tension rise and that fire return to her eyes. It made her whole body hum with adrenaline and his skin sparked with excitement.

"You deserve at least that? What the fuck do I get after you leaving without a word for more than six months John" she threw back at him. He smirked at her and she dropped her hands and took a swing at him when he ducked, swiping her feet out from under her as she fell back on the mat. He thought she'd stay down but she did the same, his feet snatched off the ground as he fell onto his side hard, making a move to get up quickly like her. They scrambled into upright positions as they stalked each other before she went in, faking left before swinging right, only to have him take her arm and flip her over onto the mat once more. He straddled her but wasn't quick enough as she rolled them over, gaining the upper hand for a split second before she dropped all of her weight onto him, making him groan aloud in frustration. The sound caught her off guard and she loosened her grip momentarily, allowing him to flip them over, her hands pinned to the mat above her head as his lower body leaned firmly on her thighs, ensuring she couldn't use them to her advantage. She thrashed around for a minute, and John had to work to keep her pinned still as she arched her body up and into his, her stomach coming into contact with his chest as he sucked in a quick breath. She immediately dropped her body back down, looking everywhere but his face as he loomed over her.

"Why the hell did you come back?" she asked, their breathing rapid and erratic as he stared down at her, her eyes finally meeting his. Her stare was guarded but receptive as he took a breath and spoke.

"You had the chance to be normal Carter, and I wasn't going to ruin that for you by being honest" he forced out, shutting his eyes briefly at the way she went limp under his hands, all the fight seeming to simmer as she processed everything.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, if Dalton was going to give you the world, you deserved it. I tried to tell you Carter, but it was never the right time"

She started to struggle against his hold again, her anger coming back as he pinned her more firmly, resting his weight almost entirely on her lower body, and making him increasingly aware of how little he had on.

"Never the right time? So you thought to come back after I find out my boyfriend was fucking some woman, and that that was a good time?" she yelled, pushing her lower body against him trying to gain the upper hand. All she succeeded in doing was having him get nose to nose with her as he spoke, her skin on fire as his thumbs absently rubbed her wrists, calming her quite a bit. He spoke lowly to her, his eyes never leaving hers as she watched his eyes spark with something that made her sweat for an entirely different reason.

"I'm not a home wrecker Carter, I wasn't going to take you from him" he stated simply, her feeling his chest rumble against hers as she struggled to breath properly.

"What the fuck makes you think you could get me at all" she bit out, watching the way his eyes darkened as his head fell to her left shoulder, his nose running under her ear and down her neck slowly and sensually.

"It's not a matter of if Carter, just a matter of when" he murmured against the skin of her throat, his lips following the same path his nose had, his tongue darting out lick at her pulse point. She felt the heat jump fifty degrees as she let her head fall back, her heartbeat pounding in her ears as she felt her blood thrum with desire.

She felt him run his lips over her neck again, this time his tongue flicked out to catch her ear lobe in his mouth, the gentle sucking causing her to gasp and arch into him as he lightly bit her ear before releasing it.

"I need you Carter, I need you to tell me that this is what you want" he whispered, brushing a kiss across her cheek as he stared at her, her eyes going wide as he saw them get glassy with unshed tears.

"I need you to want to stay" she whispered, biting her lip as she watched the way his eyes fell before lifting to meet her gaze again.

"Joss, if we're going to do this…there's nothing you could do short of loving someone else that will make me leave' he choked out, letting her see the raw emotions behind his eyes as they just stared at one another for a moment. The second he apparently read the answer in her eyes, he leant down, kissing her with everything he had as she responded in kind. His lips slipped over hers hotly, biting on her lower lip just enough to earn a gasp from her, allowing him the chance to slip his tongue into her hot mouth. He released her right hand as his left came down to pull her hair out of its ponytail, giving him the chance to weave his fingers in it and angle her head back to allow him better access. Her right hand went to his waist, pulling his weight more firmly on her as she felt him shift his legs, allowing her left leg to wrap around the outside of his thigh, his hips cradled in hers intimately. They both groaned at the sensation, Carter taking the opportunity to push back, her tongue battling him for dominance as she pulled his lower lip into her mouth and sucking on it before nipping at it. He groaned and bucked into her, making her break the kiss as she threw her head back and moaned. John took that time to explore her neck again, this time dragging his teeth against the sensitive skin of her collarbone and the junction when her neck and shoulder met. He was sure he'd leave a mark, and the thought excited him.

Carter moved her right hand from his waist to his hair, running her fingers through it and scraping her blunt nails over his scalp as he growled into her neck, his other hand releasing her wrist as he used it to bring her left leg up to the side of his ribs, making Joss sigh his name as she felt the weight of him directly on her. She rolled her hips in retaliation, earning a muttered curse as he swallowed her smile and stroked his tongue against hers when both of her hands sunk into his hair. His left hand was still in her hair, but his right hand rested at the small of her back, pressing her firmly into him as his hand dipped into the back of her sweats, squeezing her ass gently before his hand returned to her back.

"John," she sighed, turning her head away from him as he worked on the other side of her neck. As she said his name again, his eyes rose to meet hers, taking in her swollen lips, as they glistened from where he'd licked and sucked on them, her face flushed. He smiled genuinely as he met her eyes head on, the desire and lust reflected in her eyes for him. She smiled beautifully as she leaned up to brush her lips against his briefly, both still well aware of how much of their bodies were pressed against each other.

"John, I want this…all of this" she admitted, brushing her lips against his again as she felt him smile into the kiss.

"Good Joss, because I'd feel a little insulted if you only wanted me for my body" he commented, earning him a light smack on his side as he laughed. He rolled off of her and they both sighed at the lost, only to have her straddle him, this time, he sat up on his arms so he was almost level with her.

"Something I can help you with Detective" he murmured, cocking his head to the side playfully. She snuck her hands under his thin tank top and raked her nails over his lower abs, earning her a hiss of pleasure as his eyes filled with the desire to go back to what they were doing.

"While this has been amazing John" she whispered in his ear, settling firmly on his lap as she licked his ear, feeling his moan through her entire body as she continued, "I'm not having sex with you here"

She jumped up and walked away from him, going into the locker room to grab her things as he sat there staring after her. He wanted to believe she was coming back to get him, but this seemed like a majority of his fantasies where he woke up alone in the end. As he heard a door slam and seeing her emerge with her bag, she smiled and motioned him over to her as she begun to walk away.

"I'm not finished with my workout just yet John, maybe you could be of some use…" she threw over her shoulder, her hips swinging hypnotically as he grabbed his shirt, catching up with her a few feet outside of the room as he pressed her against the wall in another heated kiss. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of kissing Joss, but if he did, he was sure she could come up with plenty of things to do…

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><p>Like? I hope so, thanks for reading.<p> 


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